Perspective...

My lack of blogging has no connection to lack of thought... In fact, I think that in the past 5 months my mind, heart, and prayers have been so active, I haven't wanted to commit anything to print, knowing God was likely to shake things up at any time.

One of my prayers in the past 3 months has been where I should attend church. I have been attending, and serving at Manchester Christian Church for the past 5 years. I simply love the network of people I have met there over the years. At the end of this summer, however, I felt a stirring for a change. Not knowing if it was me stirring things up, or God, I sought counsel from leaders at MCC, and ultimately decided to switch churches to a church in my hometown of Concord to be able to get involved in local outreach.

God heard my prayer, and has honored my step into the unknown. Since I have made that decision I have felt a floodgate of opportunities open up to me. My heart has been in this place for a long time, but after my experience in Rwanda, I have wanted to put to action what I learned there in my local community.

This morning I got such an opportunity. All this week I have been battling a head cold that has rendered me useless outside of the school day. I knew, however, that I had said I would help out at the Reach van this morning for the first time (ministry to the homeless). I was up during the night congested and feeling awful, but I had given my word, so I wanted to follow through. Boy, did I get a dose of perspective.

Upon my arrival at 8:30, I was face to face with people less well that me, who hadn't slept on a firm mattress, with a down comforter, plenty of tissues, in a heat regulated home. Some had slept in tents with one eye open, praying for the sun to rise. They had the cough that I was battling, yet they had to persevere without medicine, or comfort.

I was hit with the realization through the prayers we were saying for these people, the encouraging conversations we were having, the toiletries we were giving, that WAY too often I get caught up in MY world.

Spending the morning with Jamie, Celene, Michael, John... let me know that yes, God has been working in my heart, and building my empathy, and THANK GOD, he has given me the chance now to begin being His hands, and His feet.

My Saturday mornings will no longer be the same, I will look at my city through different eyes, my prayers will be peppered with these new faces. I just pray God would show me if He has me where He wants me for a time, or if He is stirring me, and prepping me for more change. Right now, today, I am CERTAIN that I am where God would have me be, and I am so thankful for that.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes" (Matthew 6:34 MSG).

My Grandparents

Last week at this time I was with family in Virginia. We were gathered to honor and remember the life of my dad's father and my "Grandpabud." 

Grandpabud was one of the healthiest, vibrant, full of life people I knew- at 81 years old!! The 2 weeks following his unexpected stroke, and before his passing, our family joined together to send emails of memories and "Grandpabud-isms" to comfort each other across the country. While these brought many tears to my eyes, they also served to confirm what my cousin Megan wrote- "Most people aren't lucky enough to KNOW someone like Grandpabud, and we get to call him our grandfather."

I have been beyond blessed to have had a grandfather like Grandpabud, and to have a grandmother like my Grammie.  Being around them has always felt like a big hug. Their genuine interest in the lives of whomever they meet, and their generous hearts willing and wanting to make everyone feel comfortable and at home are amazing. While I know they did this for everyone- all of us grandkids felt it in a way that truly made us feel unique and special. Now that's something to strive for.

I think of my life before 80 and I realize that I have about 50 years to go... I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so caught up in my dreams and desires and questioning why I don't have them now- when, really, God is so aware and so perfect in His big picture timing. 

The road that I am on is to be traveled with joy- knowing that God has abundantly blessed me- through situations that "seem right" to me, and also by strengthening me through trials and developing my character through challenges. My Grammie and Grandpabud have been respected throughout their lives- but I have no doubt that they grew in their character as life and circumstances changed around them. Through it all they remained dedicated to serving God and their family- and the legacy that that leaves behind is something that can't have come without heartache and hard times among the blessings.

I guess I write this today thankful for today; thankful for my grandparents and others in my life, thankful for the journey I am on, and the road ahead. Where it goes? I don't know- but I do hope and pray that Lord-willing if I keep my priorities in line- looking inward to God for my strength and purpose, yet looking outward to see how He wants to use me; I can lead a life for this next 50 years that resembles the heart, generosity, love, and servitude of my grandparents.

I will miss you Grandpabud. My love to you Grammie.

Forgiveness, Courage, and Love

Sometimes putting feelings into words can be the hardest thing. This may be why phrases like “I love you,” “I’m sorry,” and “Thank you” get used so much. They carry so much weight and can be shared quickly. The “why” behind them, however, is what makes those words powerful.

I knew that coming back from Rwanda, I would be asked how my trip was. I would be asked this by people in passing much like when we ask, “how are you?” and barely pause for a response. I also knew that the majority of those close to me would want more than a two-word response. To any of you who are looking for a quick response, I will give you the word, “powerful.” To any of you truly interested, I will make an attempt to share my thoughts here in print.

I knew that God wanted me to go to Rwanda. It was a mission in line with loving Him and loving people, and I had prayed for an obstacle if it wasn’t the right time. My time leading up to the trip was free from conflict so I trusted that He was blessing my step of faith. I didn’t, however, know why I was going.
Now that I’ve left I can say that I learned much of forgiveness, courage, and love.

Forgiveness

Prior to the trip I had read up on Rwanda’s history. I had been disturbed, challenged, and then inspired by the story of a country that is striving to rise from such devastation. I was touched, however, as much as I could be by text.
I wasn’t prepared for the feeling that I would experience in visiting the Kigali Genocide Memorial, Nyamata, and hearing from people who were directly affected by the genocide in 1994. This experience gave forgiveness an entirely new meaning to me. Standing in a church in Nyamata where Pastor Vianney’s wife, four children, and siblings were killed; and hearing him talk about the importance of reconciliation and forgiveness caused me to tear up as I truly questioned whether I could do that if I were in his place. As I teared up, Patrice, Pastor Theo’s nephew came over and put his arm around me in comfort. Well, this only caused me to simply weep. How could a boy, who directly suffered as a result of the genocide, take time to comfort me? It was beyond anything that made sense to me. I will never see forgiveness in the same light.

Courage

Another heart wrenching time for me took place at Bethsaida. This is a place where HIV/AIDS women and children have a safe haven. They are given the opportunity to sew clothing and make baskets to sell in order to provide for themselves and their family. The women here had joy in their eyes, and spoke courageously of the future.
I sat and listened to the women with a young boy sitting on my lap. Again, I wept quietly as I considered how he, and others in the room, had been victimized. Victimized by a disease I had watched a good friend in America battle; with all of the conveniences of modern medicine and comfort, and even then it was so painful and heartbreaking to watch.
To then hear these women share that while they had received medicine to help them, the medicine only served to increase their appetite. They also needed the food in order for the medicine to be effective… and food they did not have.
It was a time like this as I looked into their eyes that courage took on a whole new meaning.


Love

Love is a universal need. We need it from our God and we need it from each other. I saw love expressed in so many ways, and I saw love longed for in so many places. I was convicted while I was there about what I allow to permeate my life in America to distract me from what really matters.

The first Sunday we arrived, we went to a church in the East. This is the poorest area of Rwanda, as it receives very little rain and they rely exclusively on the crops they can produce.
The church knew that we would be arriving that morning, and yet as is typical in Rwanda, it was not expected that we be there at a certain time. Roads and weather play a huge part in timeliness, or lack thereof. Even with them not knowing our arrival time, as we drove up, there were children lining the sides of the rutted dirt road, holding flowers and singing us a song of welcome. They then proceeded to run the ½ mile remaining until we arrived at the church. We shared in a time of worship, and following, they hosted a luncheon for us. It was a luncheon of plates piled high with their best food that they had to offer. Everything in me wanted to offer it right back to them, but I had to realize that it was their way of expressing thanks and love. I was humbled.

It is the myriad of faces that I remember, those with eyes that shone of forgiveness, those with a smile of courage, those with an expression of love, and those who looked deep into my eyes searching for love and rescue that leave something in me that I will never forget.

Tomorrow is take-off!

Muraho! 

Well, tomorrow is the day. I sit here this morning in Concord, NH with the snow falling outside my window. We have a 2-hour delay this morning which has been a gift. I worked my tail off yesterday getting things packed and ready, but this morning I have had time to read, pray, and ready my heart for the unknown that is ahead.

I will certainly post soon after I return on March 6th. I do, however, want to make you aware of the blog site that our team will daily be posting to- www.manchesteronthemove.wordpress.com

Thank you for your prayers and support. I am excited to see what God reveals to me and our church!

God Bless!

Rachel

18 days...

This morning as I woke up I thought, "Only two more Monday wake-ups before I am waking up in Rwanda." I used to do countdowns like that when anticipating summer vacation, Christmas, back-to-school, etc. Now my heart and mind are focused on Rwanda. My prayer is that over the next 18 days God continues to challenge me, and shape me, and prepare me for what only He knows the team and I will experience.

This past weekend I went to see Slumdog Millionaire. It was a hard watch for me. Mostly due to the scenes of the children and how they can be forced to live. In all honesty, the bigger picture of the story got lost to me as my mind just kept returning to children. Children doing their best to get by, whatever the cost. Also ingrained in my mind were the images of corrupt adults using children for their own advancement. It truly depressed me. 

Sometimes being prepared for what is to come involves challenges and pain. Prayers to see the world through God's eyes are going to invoke heartache. As I think of my students in America who have their own battles, the children in the slums of India, and the orphans of Rwanda, God has been showing me that this is the area that my heart breaks for. I also know that God is showing me only as much as he has made me able to handle, and I know it is a percentage of a sliver of what He sees daily. I can't comprehend how His heart must break. It truly motivates me to discover my piece and to do my part.

I am still unsure what my piece is, but I believe that God is showing me that it involves children, and it involves shedding some of His light amidst people in need. I am so grateful for the opportunity to take this journey, and I truly view it as a beginning step in what God is doing in my heart. 

Thank you for your prayers, both current, and while we are on the trip. I truly believe that the children and adults of Rwanda are going to teach me more about what it means to love than I currently understand; and I am humbled to have the opportunity.

Blessings,

Rachel

40 days...

I hope that this post finds you well as we are 11 days into 2009! Happy New Year.

As of today, my team is 40 days from heading to Rwanda, Africa! I haven't posted in awhile because I haven't been sure how to put my thoughts into words. Two of the books that I have read recently have put names and faces to the area where we will be heading. I read Left to Tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza and Land of a Thousand Hills by Rosamond Halsey Carr. Both books showed me deeper realities of the pain and tragedy that resulted in the genocide in the 90's as well as previous conflicts. Of the two, I highly recommend Left to Tell if you're looking for an eye-opening read. The distance that Rwandans have come as a country in terms of reconciliation can only be attributed to God's love. I am anxious to go and share that.

I have purposefully tried not to think too much about what the day to day will be for our team while we are there. I don't want to establish expectations. I simply want to go and see what God has for us. Our team website will be updated most frequently. It has a recent post by one of our trip leaders. It can be found at www.manchesteronthemove.worldpress.com

As of today our team is 40% of the way to raising the funds needed. I will continue to post updates regarding this progress. Thank you for your prayers and/or financial contributions. This is a God-sized task!!!

Blessings to you.

Thanksgiving

It is Thanksgiving Eve... Yes, not exactly a hallmark holiday, but a grand day nonetheless. A day of cooking, baking, and anticipating time with family and friends. I love Thanksgiving due to the emphasis on time together. Following Thanksgiving comes all of the commotion that goes with Christmas. I am choosing to avoid it this year, however. My church is embracing advent conspiracy which totally jazzes me. I am not against showing someone that you care about, or appreciate them through a gift, but I am against a meaningless gift just for the sake of it. 

We have a trading post set up at our church which is selling Fair Trade products from around the world through Trade as One. This is awesome to me! If I am going to spend money, I want it to go somewhere needed. Now, I write this as a hypocrite I realize, because all of the clothes on my body were likely factory produced. But, I am saying that I want to begin to be aware, and make more conscious and sustainable choices. Why not start with Christmas!!!?