Her smile is sneaking out... and it's beautiful.

The next ABC woman I am going to share with you about, is not a woman who made an impression on me right away- yet now that she has, her impression will last my lifetime.

She is around 40 years old, and she lives with her elderly mother in a relatively large home for her village neighborhood. At first glance, one might question- "is she truly a vulnerable woman?" Yet, as we in America can attest, material goods (and I am NOT at all saying she has a lot by our standards...) don't directly correlate with being in a good place.
This woman has a story that I hope I can communicate to you with the power it was communicated to me...

One morning, as we were doing devotions, the question was asked- "Has God done any miracles in your life?" Well, the stories started flowing one by one, but what amazed me, is that this typically quiet woman, was one of the first to share. What was translated to me has stuck with me for the past months...

She grew up in the neighborhood area of our shop. She was abandoned by her mother and raised by her father. Her father married another woman, then another, then another. There was no consistency in her home, and she spent much time with various "step-moms" who would come in and out of her home. This provided to be a very unstable childhood- with no role model to speak of.

As a teenager, she followed the example that she grew up in and slept around with many men. School was never encouraged for her (or paid for), so she had no education, or opportunity.

In 1990 she gave birth to her first son and then in 1992 she developed her most stable relationship, and had a second son. I am not sure how the relationship with this man ended. Yet, as it was 1994 when it did, I suspect the genocide. Her father was also killed in the genocide, leaving her with no men in her life. While this may seem sad, yet workable to our western minds, here in Rwanda, the loss of a male in your life lowers your "worth" in the eyes of your neighbors.

I also want to pause a minute and remind myself, as well as you- that the sentence "was killed in the genocide" is so much deeper than a sentence can communicate. This reality is that this woman lived through this horror. The nights of gunfire, the images of bodies in the streets, the concern that her husband or father would ever come home, and the stark reality that they didn't... The fear and distrust that something like this can grow in a person is something that I can't wrap my mind around. Yet, she faced the next day...

After the genocide ended, she reconnected with her mother and they began living together until 2005. It was at this time that she discovered she was sick with the AIDS virus and had to go into the hospital. She was sick and in a hospital bed for a full year. As the disease ravaged her body, she lost much weight, and at a frame of about 5'9" her weight of 25kg (55 lbs) made her skeletal.

In her most vulnerable time, all of her family abandoned her. Her children stopped visiting her as she was no longer able to recognize them. She had no one to love or care for her during this time as everyone she knew considered her "dead." She remembers losing all consciousness and not knowing if it was day or night. She lost hope during this time too. She'd experienced a life of instability, fear, rejection, and pain- now this? Why live any longer?

Around this time, a pastor from a local church was visiting the hospital and would come in and pray with her every week. He asked her if she believed that Jesus could heal her... that He was Lord of her life. She said yes. Yet, as her sickness continued she admits that she started to lose hope.

She shared that through this time, she is so grateful that while she started to lose hope, this Pastor, and ultimately God, did not lose hope in her... The pastor continued to encourage her that despite what she saw, not to lose faith- God could heal her.
She saw God's Love through this pastor, and wondered, what made him come every week?? She tried to hold onto his claims of God, and make them her own- despite how she felt.

At this point doctors had given up on her, so when she started to regain weight, and regain her health, everyone was astonished. Everyone, that is, except that Pastor. She knows it was God's healing hand, and as her weight increased and she got up to 50kg- the hospital released her.

As she returned to her village, people screamed at the sight of her- convinced she was a ghost, as her healing was impossible to them. Her healing became a powerful testimony among those who know her.

Now, where she amazes me most- is how her healing brought true life change. See, at her release from the hospital, she was confronted with her family again- her family who had abandoned her and left her to die. Her response is one that is so incredible, so like Jesus.

She took her mother into her home, her mother who'd abandoned her as a child, and re-abandoned her as an adult in her greatest need. She admits the relationship is a hard one, yet she is committed to caring for her and coming to a place of true forgiveness, which she seeks prayer for God's help with.

Upon her healing, she was still met with many challenges. She had no man in her life to help with provision. Her first job upon release from the hospital was doing laundry for a Rwandese family, where she had to walk many kilometers a day and was paid 50 cents a day... While she had the physical structure of a good home in the village- she still had AIDS, was exhausted, and would cry over how she could pay school fees, buy food, and provide for her mother on such pay.

She joined "Hope Group" which is a group that ministers to people suffering with HIV, and through Hope Group got connected to the women's training center- "African Bagel." She says that this opportunity has been a gift from God. Since joining ABC, she is growing in her confidence, her self worth, and can now pay school fees for her children, meet their physical needs, and has grown dramatically in her trust in the Lord. While she still remains a bit guarded and quiet (understandably) she has friends again, and continues to pray for true forgiveness for those who have hurt her in the past.

This woman's story is so powerful to me because I think it is a model for many around here... The idea that you see a person doing what needs to be done to live and survive the day, and the history that has brought them to this day is full of more challenges, more heartache and true need, than I can begin to wrap my American head around... It also reminds me that we cannot, we CANNOT give up on each other. The love of God communicated through a local pastor brought this woman the hope she needed to survive today, and know that she is not living for today- but she is living for a Heaven where the pain and tears of her life will be washed away and redeemed.

This woman is a gem, she is a gem in the eyes of the Lord- He healed her- and she is one of the first to praise Him for that. I am privileged to know her... and always excited when I see her genuine smile. :)