Focus

There's a pastor at my church back in the states, Kevin Twombly, who gave a message maybe a year ago even, that has helped me so much in my time here in Rwanda. Now, Kevin, forgive me if I don't get your words quite right, but it was a message on giving, on serving, and the general message was- when you're doing SOMETHING, when you're praying for discernment in where and how God wants to use you- and when you get off your tail and actually DO it, then you can be at peace with saying "no" to other requests.

Im sure you ALL can relate to being hounded at times with needs- legitimate, GOOD needs, emails asking for donations, people asking for support, homeless in your community, elderly who need visitors, advances for education, rebuilding efforts, medical research, missions that support the stop of sex-trafficking, the list goes on... In the States, I found myself struggling at times with how much to help. What was "enough?" Yet, coming from a faith that isn't based on works for salvation, but by grace, I now see that some of my efforts were "chasing after the wind." 

The works God cares about, are the works resulting from the Spirit living and working through us- and God doesn't expect us to do IT ALL because I think that makes it about us, not God. Yet, as I recently re-read "Hole in the Gospel" by Richard Stearns (and highly recommend) he pointed out the truth, that if we each did our piece in how God made us, we truly would be moving mountains- the impact on our world would be astounding...

I'm not saying we should be narrow minded, do one thing, and close our minds off to everything else, but I have battled despair here many times over the last 4 months as I look around me and constantly see so much need... I started to think "Am I doing enough?" or even "There's so much more to be done, does my small piece make a difference?"

Then God, in His calm, loving way, reminded me- I am not God. The answer is not in me, and how much I can do. The answer is praying on what God wants to do in and through me, and then praying for His Spirit to move in other people to do their small piece as well. Then, mountains will be moved.

See, back home, Kevin's message helped me because I was feeling some of what I am feeling here, when getting emails, hearing of needs for volunteers, etc. Like I had to step in and fill the need... often. 

Here, it's even more uncomfortable though- because it's not hearing secondhand of a need- it's every single day being greeted by a hungry street child, or seeing some of my women at the shop who can't manage their money well start to get desperate at the end of the month before the next stipend payment. It's knowing how rich I am (which is an uncomfortable truth for any of us Americans), and praying discernment for when to say yes, and when to say no...

I want to do WELL the mission and the piece God has me here to do- I want to focus my energies in the best ways- but I also want to communicate to whomever I can, that if you haven't found your piece, your calling, whether in your hometown or overseas, then pray- there is always much more to be done...

Pray to God- ask Him to reveal more to you about how He wants to use you- which areas you're working or serving in that are handcrafted for you, and which ones just weigh you down and make you less effective. I have to do that regularly here. Honestly, my days aren't too "remarkable" to the average eye, but the only way I can sleep at night with hungry children roaming out on the street outside my home is knowing that at this time, for this season, God is using my personality, organization, and heart of teaching to minister to these 12 lovely ladies... they deserve my focus- my intentionality... Who knows what the next chapter will hold... Life sure is an exciting journey to be on though. :)

Thank you for your continued prayers and support...