One way ticket to Rwanda... June 30th...

Below is a letter highlighting the next steps in my life...

Dear Friends and Family,

In thinking about putting together this letter, I thought of you all- the people who would receive it: my family, my friends, who have walked life with me and made an impact in my life at some point over the past 30 years. I am so grateful to each one of you.

If I’ve ever been transparent with you over the years, you know I have questioned God about my life story… Many of us have. I have also walked alongside others who have had similar questions and discovered I wasn’t alone in my thoughts.

I think that regardless of the timeline of our lives, and when various milestones occur, we are all given two options, to remain pliable, to be open to God’s moving in our lives, or to dig our feet in, and harden our surface, holding tight to the plans we want. God hasn’t allowed me to harden and dig my feet in over the years. I know that this is largely due to my prayers, asking God for what I truly desire with all of my heart, but also acknowledging that He knows best, that His Story, regardless of my understanding of it, is the story I want to live.

One of these stories began in February, 2009 when I traveled to the tiny little country of Rwanda in the middle of Africa. I left knowing that I was leaving a part of my heart, especially for the widows and orphans, and that God had more for me to do there. As the urge grew in my heart to return, I pushed on doors in the summer of 2010, just to have them close. I was disappointed, but I also knew He was using me locally in a homeless ministry, and my community. He had plans for me in my teaching job, and quite simply, His plan was His plan, and my job was to wait.

In February, 2011, I traveled with my church, Grace Capital to Haiti on a mission trip. God confirmed for me on that trip that He wanted to use me in poverty stricken communities as my heart for widows and orphans had continued to grow. I began praying while considering options.

I learned of a need in Rwanda for an interim director of a women’s training center, called the African Bagel Company. The founders were looking for someone to fill the position for 6 months, perhaps up to a year, while they are on furlough. It is an amazing ministry that operates a growing business, making primarily baked goods. They pull mostly widows from the streets, many with children to care for, and disciple them and teach them a trade that they can use to sustain and provide for their families.

The doors I pushed on have swung open. I am stepping out in faith believing now is the time. As a matter of fact, June 30^th I board a plane to fill this position in Rwanda for at least the next six months, maybe longer. I know the skills and encouragement I will bring them will only be half of the story as God is guaranteed to teach me and challenge me through this journey as well, if I remain pliable.

I am excited, and I am scared. There are many unknowns. There is a lot of work ahead, an entirely new culture to live in and run a business in. The only way I can begin to do this is by God’s strength, and with the prayers of His people. I want to keep a heart of praying His Will in my daily decisions. While I have an idea of some of what’s ahead, the true journey will unfold in His time.

To step out and do this I am leaving my teaching job for a year to work without salary. I am praying that some of you may be moved to help me financially with my expenses during this time. It will cost me $1200 a month to live and work there. Thank you in advance. I am humbly grateful. Donations can be given monthly, or as special gifts. There is more information on the form below.

Regardless, if you could remember me in prayer- that is my greatest ask. Stepping out in these situations can bring opposition. I need the covering of prayer that you all can provide. Thank you.

If you’d like, you can share my journey with me and pray for me through my blog which I will be updating at www.livewideawake.blogspot.com

Sincerely,

Rachel Carter

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”

James 1:27

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I, ______________________________________________________ pledge to support Rachel Carter’s mission financially in the following way:

Monthly for $ per month to support her work in Rwanda.

Yes, I would like a monthly email reminder.

A special gift of $ for her work in Rwanda.

Checks are tax-deductible and are to be made out to Grace Capital Church. Please cut off this form and mail with your donation to Pastor Mike Mavity, 542 Pembroke St., Pembroke, NH 03275

Life change...

Well, I am back from Haiti. I was right. A week wasn't enough... What I saw there, what I felt, only confirmed the call I have felt on my life for loving this population- The widows and orphans that are so dear to God and hold my heart...

I am pushing on doors to commit a year to serving in this way. So far they are opening... Any prayers towards this would be gratefully received.

This is my heart song through this process: Surrender

Say it today...

I was shown something by God tonight that I don't want to forget. Please read...

In August of 2010 I had the opportunity to share a Biblical message of hope with a Saturday street ministry that I am involved in- Reach4Hope. It was a message of how God uses every difficulty that we come across to shape us, to make us into something beautiful for Him. I used beach glass as my analogy. I shared that we all come to the world broken, we all have sharp edges that can hurt others if we aren't careful, if we don't see His love amidst the pain. Yet, God takes us from this place of brokenness and wants to refine us. As we come upon difficulties with God's strength, he softens our edges, he shapes us like beach glass- we become beautiful...

A woman who was there listening approached me after. She had tears in her eyes and asked if I could email her my message, she wanted to encourage someone with it. I wasn't comfortable giving her my email address so I gave her the copy I spoke from. She pressed further that she needed encouragement from the Bible... I had a Bible there on the table... but I had things to do... I told her I would get them to her next time... Ugly, I know... She said she wasn't sure when she'd be back... I said okay, I would pray for her...

I was convicted as soon as I left that I hadn't taken more time with her. When I got home, I searched scriptures and wrote them on an index card for her. I stuck it in my car.... She wasn't there the next week... she wasn't there that whole month...

The next month I missed the Saturday she was there, but I heard she was on fire for God, and led the group in prayer. I smiled to hear that- but I also knew I missed an opportunity for God to use me in her life.

The first weekend in December she came back. I ran to my car and got the folded index card for her. "Scriptures for Jessica" was written across the top. She accepted it gratefully, but I felt a little silly since it'd been so long...

One month later... yesterday... Jessica was killed in a plane crash.

I know it's all God, and He ministered to Jessica despite my insensitivity that day. But I also know that He gives us opportunities- He lets us be a part of His story. He was gracious to me in allowing me to see Jessica last month and fulfill what had been put on my heart that I ignored 3 months prior.... He knew she wouldn't be here much longer.

That index card could have still been in my car yesterday, and I'm not saying it made any difference at all- but I am saying God gave me a second chance to reach out to her when I made the mistake and was "too busy" that first day. I am grateful for that second chance. I am grateful God lets me be a part of His work.

But I was also reminded tonight, there isn't always a "tomorrow" or a "next week."

God loves you, yes YOU- He would do anything for your love--- He did the unthinkable for our love. Follow His lead- there's nothing like it. It's what we're here for...

I have to say it today.

click here for full "Beach Glass" message

Grateful for Another Journey...

A week goes really fast. Really, really fast. It's Wednesday evening and Sunday feels like it was yesterday... each week I am excited for Friday, and each week Friday comes. A week is short. Too short.

While it will be short, I am SO thankful for the opportunity to be going to Haiti for a week in 2011. February 26th to be exact. But the thing is, on March 5, I'll be home.... I'll have left the chaos, destruction, longing eyes of children and unpredictability. I'll be back in my comfortable, predictable home with images etched in my mind of a world that is so far from my reality... All in a week's time... I want February 26th to come quickly, and March 5th to take it's time... I have too much to learn, too much to love, for that short amount of time. But I know I can't change that, and I am grateful for what I have.

I am anticipating, and so greatly looking forward to this week on a calendar in 2011. I am going to Haiti with a team from my church. We met on Sunday and talked about how despite our best intentions and efforts, when we depart Haiti on the 5th, Haiti won't be drastically different... Will we touch hearts and lives? We pray so.... Will Haiti change us? Absolutely.

My prayer is that I'd surrender to what God wants to do with me in Haiti, that people there ARE blessed by our coming, and that Haiti will change me in a way that doesn't remain in Haiti. I pray that the little good God allows me to do there through encouraging or praying for someone, leaks into my life here which I allow to get so dangerously "ordinary." I pray that it isn't a WEEK in Haiti that stands out to me about 2011, but I pray that God might use that week to show me more of what He wants from me in my "ordinary." How God wants to use me to bless others in the time and place He has me in.

Some have asked if they can support me financially. Thank you, I am humbled. I will put that information below.

I do ask, however, more than anything--if you pray-- for your prayers. Specifically that the lives we are ministering are touched with God's love. Prayers that they are encouraged, and the Haitians that we work alongside would get the accolades for the visible work that is accomplished. Prayers for me personally, that this trip helps me know more of God's plans for March 5th and beyond.

Thank you and God Bless you.

Please make checks payable to:

Grace Capital Church

memo: Haiti (put my name on a separate note)

Mail to:

Grace Capital Church

542 Pembroke St.

Pembroke, NH 03275

"We see from where we stand" -Haitian Proverb

2 years ago I started this blog. I had a heart's desire to Live Wide Awake. I had begun to realize that my "normal" is not normal... That God has given me abilities, and has placed me in America in this time to be His hands and feet. I will preface this by saying I have a long way to go to reach my potential- I am a work in progress just like everyone else :) but today I had an experience that brought me to tears for many reasons. It is evidence to me that God is blessing my desire to Live Wide Awake- to live consciously and purposefully- and I want to thank Him for the opportunity. Today I was given opportunity to join a community as we mourned the loss of a friend. Billy.

In December of 2009 I started serving at the homeless shelter in Concord. It is a cold weather shelter for our community members who live in tents through the "warmer" months. I had gotten to know some of this population through a street church ministry- and I wanted to know their reality better- to be Awake to their "normal."

As the months passed I got to know the guests well. There was one man in particular, yes-Billy, who made an impression on me. Each week he greeted me with a fierce face, that melted into a grin- and a robust "Hi Smiley!!!!" While the shifts there weren't always easy- they always went quickly with Billy around. He, a few other regulars, and I would sit in card table chairs from 6-10pm telling stories, laughing, or sometimes sitting in comfortable silence. He was always quick with a joke, as well as being alert to the 30 minutes that would pass signifying a smoke break. He was one of my "go-to guys" who would step into a conflict and talk people down... Billy. A man who had many conflicts in the daytime, but knew not to bring them to the shelter at night.

It was no secret that alcohol was a demon in Billy's life. Sobriety was a dream he chased. A dream he'd achieve, just to fall again... Alcohol is what finally took his life... When sharing life stories with me Billy often told me that he had a rough past. He wouldn't go into many details, but he'd share that he had hurt many people. Thing was, he had also helped many... I hope he realized that.

Billy's service was a Wide Awake experience I am forever grateful for- to remember and honor Billy's life alongside his friends. As I sat in the church pews alongside a community that I didn't know just over a year ago- I was humbled. I was humbled that while being an outsider, they don't make me feel like an outsider. There were many friends from the street who I was able to greet and sit alongside. I was honored that they accepted my presence so naturally. It made me remember the importance of reciprocating that love to them...

I am grateful to be able to have considered Billy a friend. Now I know I don't understand the ways of the homeless intimately- and to be honest, I thank God for that. But I am humbled that God allows me to know some of His children, who are outside of my normal "bubble" of life. I am grateful to hold hands with people who walk a life I don't understand- but love and pray for them just the same.

I write this as a way to remember and honor Billy. I am one who can say that I am better for having known him. But I also write this in hopes that it encourages you. Take a look beyond your "normal" and you will see a world in need. A world in need of something you have to offer- and you will discover in the process, that within you, something is filled- some place is filled that you didn't know needed filling, as God works through you.

**Inspiration**

When I was 15 I met Steve Sawyer. He taught me of his faith. His testimony is what changed my heart to want to truly know God. I will forever be grateful for Steve's life and love of others.

Click here for his story.

God Bless.

*Sea Glass*

I am blessed to be a part of a ministry that serves the homeless and less fortunate in our community by providing for some of their material needs, as well as their spiritual needs. This morning I was given the opportunity to speak Truth and encouragement in their lives. This is what I shared:

"This morning I gave to you an item. Can anybody tell me what it is?

(Beach glass.)

Who knows how it is formed?

(broken glass tossed in the wind and rocks)

This year on a beautiful day in early March I went out to the coast to spend some time with the Lord. I had been feeling bogged down, and too much in my own head. My questions of God were getting in the way of my worship of God. My prayer time had been consumed with asking Him why? Asking Him how long? Asking him to change my circumstances. To be honest, I felt forgotten. My goal in going out there was to bring back my Love for Jesus. To forget my questions… to simply focus on Him and who He is.

You see, many times we are so mistaken when we think we can go about life, keep up with the pace of our schedule and the everyday, and still keep a relationship alive with the lover of our souls. I have been taught that we cannot simply drift into an authentic, life changing relationship with Jesus. It takes time, it takes intentionality; it takes a re-commitment every single day.

Now there are many things we CAN drift into. Left unchecked our minds can drift into worry, our focus can drift to the tv, our hearts can drift to envy, our attitude can drift to anger, our habits can drift to be addictions… With the enemy at large, he is working to distract you- to take your minds focus off of Jesus, and drift into all of these places of despair. God, however, wants us to GROW, and that is a choice- it is an act of the Will.

You may ask, well- How do you grow? Personally, I make the choice to get deep in His Word every day. This is something you can do too. I meditate on scripture to keep my mind from drifting. Some days I take time off of my routine and go someplace, not always the ocean- sometimes a bench downtown, or a rock by the river, and I pray… I remember that Jesus said, in John 15:9-17:

“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. ¹⁰ When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! ¹² This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. ¹³There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. ¹⁶ You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other.

I read that and I can’t help but worship. He tells us to be filled with his JOY. When is the last time you were filled with JOY? He has promised that if we cast our cares on him- he will care for them… Cast them… Do we have anyone who’s fished here before?

What does it mean- to cast?

Yes- Throw as far as you can. Picture taking your worries and CASTING them. Take your worries and CAST them to your Heavenly Father.

The same Heavenly Father who Loves you enough to lay down his life for you.

And as you grasp this, as you understand the fullness of what this means, you will then find joy in doing the same… Surrendering your life, laying your life at the foot of the cross and telling Him to do with it what He will.

This is the place I was on that day in March. I was surrendered, I was exhausted, and I cast my cares onto him. There was a cool March breeze blowing so I didn’t walk long amongst the rocks, but as I was walking, I began collecting glass- the same glass that you hold in your hand. And I believe that God impressed something on my heart that day that I want to share with you.

Each of you take your glass and rub it through your fingers…

No one is calling out for a band-aid… no one is getting hurt. God told me that day that this glass represents me- this glass represents anyone who has found Christ.

See, there was a time when I was a bottle (show)- I was unharmed, perfect, straight from God- that day was the day I was born. Ever since that day though, things have broken me. People I loved have died, friends I trusted betrayed me, dreams I had, got shattered. My bottle broke as a result of my own sin, as well as the sins of others.

Now, if I stayed in that place, if I had drifted along, if I remained broken- I would be in a place where my hurt, would then transfer to hurting others. People I would come into contact with, would be affected negatively by me- I would create more wounds.

By the Grace of God, however, I have made a choice. I have made a choice to be made new by God. This process though, is not easy. This process involves surrendering my “why?” questions. In my surrender, God takes my brokenness and allows me to be tossed, rolled, rubbed and even knocked into the sides of cliffs at times to make me useful to Him. The result, like this piece of glass, is beauty. My edges are softened.

People like myself scour beaches for sea glass, display them on shelves- appreciate the beauty of something old and broken, becoming something smooth, and beautiful.

The glass broken along Main street is often left there, or gathered by street sweepers. No one flocks to city streets hoping to find sharp broken glass. Without having the turmoil, and grinding of the waves, that glass sits in peace- after being broken, it remains unchallenged- and is good for nobody.

I tell you this today, my brothers and sisters, because I know some here are feeling broken. Some here just want the peace that comes without the waves of life- but know, our God- our God who loves us, who laid down his life for us, for me, for you, is a God who allows these times of trial to shape us- to grind us to the size and shape He wants in order to fulfill His will for us.

I know it is not always easy. I haven’t walked in your shoes but I have cried many tears as God has brought me through His Will for me- but I would also want NO OTHER JOURNEY. And for you, I want your brokenness, your pain, to be used by God. No promises it will be easy, but it will welcome the eternal Love of Jesus. It will guide you to an everlasting life with the lover of your soul.

When God tells his people in Jeremiah 29 11-14 he says:

¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² In those days when you pray, I will listen. ¹³ If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

He has plans for GOOD, not disaster. Now remember, disaster and trials are different. Disaster implies something that you can’t get out of or away from. We need Him for our trials not to be disasters. God does and WILL allow trials into our lives, but where we are blessed, where we find hope, is that the trials are NOT the end of our story. When we keep our eyes on Jesus and following His commands, there is Hope and a Future.

The reward is more than worth the discomfort. I know you may feel broken this morning but I urge you- Don’t stay where you are. Allow God to change your heart. Join me in my desire to stop questioning, and let us allow God to use our brokenness to bring beauty and to touch the lives of others. Keep this glass as a reminder that He Loves you and He wants to use you. CHOOSE Him. Get in the Word, follow His teachings, He wants to shine and be seen through YOUR life.