"We see from where we stand" -Haitian Proverb

2 years ago I started this blog. I had a heart's desire to Live Wide Awake. I had begun to realize that my "normal" is not normal... That God has given me abilities, and has placed me in America in this time to be His hands and feet. I will preface this by saying I have a long way to go to reach my potential- I am a work in progress just like everyone else :) but today I had an experience that brought me to tears for many reasons. It is evidence to me that God is blessing my desire to Live Wide Awake- to live consciously and purposefully- and I want to thank Him for the opportunity. Today I was given opportunity to join a community as we mourned the loss of a friend. Billy.

In December of 2009 I started serving at the homeless shelter in Concord. It is a cold weather shelter for our community members who live in tents through the "warmer" months. I had gotten to know some of this population through a street church ministry- and I wanted to know their reality better- to be Awake to their "normal."

As the months passed I got to know the guests well. There was one man in particular, yes-Billy, who made an impression on me. Each week he greeted me with a fierce face, that melted into a grin- and a robust "Hi Smiley!!!!" While the shifts there weren't always easy- they always went quickly with Billy around. He, a few other regulars, and I would sit in card table chairs from 6-10pm telling stories, laughing, or sometimes sitting in comfortable silence. He was always quick with a joke, as well as being alert to the 30 minutes that would pass signifying a smoke break. He was one of my "go-to guys" who would step into a conflict and talk people down... Billy. A man who had many conflicts in the daytime, but knew not to bring them to the shelter at night.

It was no secret that alcohol was a demon in Billy's life. Sobriety was a dream he chased. A dream he'd achieve, just to fall again... Alcohol is what finally took his life... When sharing life stories with me Billy often told me that he had a rough past. He wouldn't go into many details, but he'd share that he had hurt many people. Thing was, he had also helped many... I hope he realized that.

Billy's service was a Wide Awake experience I am forever grateful for- to remember and honor Billy's life alongside his friends. As I sat in the church pews alongside a community that I didn't know just over a year ago- I was humbled. I was humbled that while being an outsider, they don't make me feel like an outsider. There were many friends from the street who I was able to greet and sit alongside. I was honored that they accepted my presence so naturally. It made me remember the importance of reciprocating that love to them...

I am grateful to be able to have considered Billy a friend. Now I know I don't understand the ways of the homeless intimately- and to be honest, I thank God for that. But I am humbled that God allows me to know some of His children, who are outside of my normal "bubble" of life. I am grateful to hold hands with people who walk a life I don't understand- but love and pray for them just the same.

I write this as a way to remember and honor Billy. I am one who can say that I am better for having known him. But I also write this in hopes that it encourages you. Take a look beyond your "normal" and you will see a world in need. A world in need of something you have to offer- and you will discover in the process, that within you, something is filled- some place is filled that you didn't know needed filling, as God works through you.